To be loved
by stoning.char
Summary: Ashley transfers from Amity to Dauntless, with her best friend/lover Damian, but there are complications between the two of them. Will they make it trough? Story is better then summary, please read and review! Tips to improve my writing are always welcome! c: Don't know if the Divergent characters will be in there, I geuss so.
1. Chapter 1

I sigh, leaning against one of the apple trees and bite my lip. It's weird having him scream to me, him of all people, he always used to be a bundle of joy. But then again I couldn't say he's like every other Amity I know. I know him better than thinking he's a typical Amity. I doubt if he will stay, so why is he making this such a big deal?

"I can't believe it!" He's yelling, moving his arms, making it way more dramatically than it really is.

"Calm do.." I'm cut of by his voice, screaming again. If he continues like this they'll make him take the peace serum. Something I don't want because then I will be stuck with an annoying Damian.

"You're leaving me! You want me to calm down?" I get up when I see several people looking at us. He really needs to shut his mouth now, it's annoying me and I bet it's annoying other people too. I gently put my hands on his upper arm so he will keep them down. He gives in and takes my hands in his.

"I just feel betrayed, I thought you loved me." I almost want to sigh again but when hearing the word 'love' I quickly let go of him and take a step back. The word love scares me. It's the thought of attaching to someone, it just feels weird. He comes closer, wanting to take me in his arms but I just move away. And then I'm gone. I run, as quick as possible, keep running, just keep running. I'm scared, scared to love him, to love anyone. I'm moving slower, not able to keep up the pace anymore. I want to keep on running, run away from him. Run away from everything, but I can't. I collapse after running quite a while and move a little bit so my back is leaning against one of the trees. My eyes close without me wanting it and before I know it I fall asleep.

* * *

I wake up when I feet someone putting his arms around me. I know it's a him because his arms feel muscular and I can smell the scent of male deodorant. It's Damian. Normally I would've slapped him in the face, but I'm to tired to do that now. We had the aptitude test today. It was then that I found out that I wouldn't stay here. I always knew I didn't perfectly belong in here, but with my results being Dauntless, I'm sure that I should go. It took away most of my energy, and after the argument and me running away I collapsed. It didn't take long until the sleep took over. And it's doing it again. I haven't opened my eyes yet and decide that I don't want to open them. I don't want to wake up and I don't want to talk to him either, so I just fall back asleep immediately. It's a dreamless sleep, it feels nice.

**It's short, I know and I'm sorry about it. I hope I can make the other chapters longer. Also, I hope you guys like it so far. Please review, also, I'd love to get some tips to improve my writing. :D**


	2. Chapter 2

"Ashley, wake up." I stretch out my arm, slapping something. Frowning when I don't feel the metal of my alarm clock. My eyes flutter open and I see the figure of a guy standing next to the bed.

"You can take your hand away now." It's Damians voice. I fully open my eyes now and can't help it that I smirk. I slapped him in the face, my hand still covering his nose, mouth and cheek. I pull my hand away, sit up straight and look around. Greeted by the bright yellow and red colors that cover the wall. Just as it is in my room.

"So, what exactly am I doing here?" I ask trough a yawn. If I wasn't here with Damian I guess I would've freaked out, but with him near me I know it's okay.

"Well, I found you in one of the gardens, you probably passed out. I guess you were really tired, you didn't even wake up when I picked you up." He says, a little smile dragging the corners of his mouth up. It creates cute little dimples on his cheeks, causing me to smile.

"But I was comfy in there." I say, faking disappointment. I pound my lower lip and give him my puppy look. He lets out a little laugh, but it fades away as he continues looking at me. I frown, it's weird to see him like this. I know him as the happy guy, the smiling one that makes me happy. This almost makes me depressed. n

"What?" I ask, knowing that something is bothering him. He brings his hand up and softly brushes my cheek. Even though I want to, I don't pull away, I just keep looking at him. The frown has vanished for a moment but it returns when I see how he avoids looking me into the eye, like he's scared or something. I clear my throat, catching his attention.

"What's wrong?" I ask, while I bring my hand up and take his of my cheek.

"I.. I just don't want this." He says, looking up at me, his eyes are filled with sadness. I swallow once and doubt before asking, I guess I might already know the answer.

"What, what is it that you don't want?" I did ask it though, I wanted to know for sure.

"This," He says again. "I don't want us to end like we never happened, I don't want our relationship to be like this, I don't want you to leave." I sit back and bite my lip. I am not the only one that's leaving, he is too. Suddenly, the feeling of anger rises. Why does he expect me to stay with him, to follow him where he goes? My face hardens a little bit and I cock an eyebrow at him

"So I can't leave, but you can? Do you expect me to follow you like a puppy?' He seems a little bit shocked by me raising my voice, of course he is, I never raised my voice at him. Just like he never did with me, until now.

"Who said I was leaving?" I bite my lip a little bit harder. He had just raised his voice at me. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.

"Nobody did, but everybody know. At least I'm not to scared to tell. At least I was honest with you!" It feels weird having an argument with him, it's relieving, but also hurts.

"Oh, and suddenly you're all candor or what?!" I sigh in a dramatically way and get up. It's now that I notice I'm wearing one of his shirts. Covering a small area of my upper legs and falling loose over my upper body.

"Well, I'm sorry that I at least care!" I'm almost screaming, not thinking about the fact that his parents are in the same house.

"It doesn't look like that! You're acting like you don't need me at all and you know you need me." Don't, don't you say it. I give him a daring look, my hand formed into fists.

"But you do," I can taste the iron taste of blood because I'm biting my lip even harder, he won't say it, he just won't. "Because besides me, you don't have anybody else." Before I know it my hand had made contact with his cheek, leaving a red mark. He looks at me in shock. Screaming is one thing, but using physical strength is intolerant. He covers it with his hand and suddenly I have the urge tos ay sorry, but I don't. I just glare at the clock, quickly put on my pants and my own shirt and throw his towards his face. I take my shoes and then I'm gone. I try to give his mother a smile, but she must have heard the argument, she gives me a smile, but it's a doubting one. He had crossed the line with saying that. He has gone too far and now he knows it. I quickly rush home so I can get ready in time. I'm definitely leaving, I had always knew it. The only thing that was keeping me here was Damian, but now, now there's no reason to stay.

**So, here's chapter two. Hope you guys liked it, I will post chapter three as soon as possible.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Didn't expect to have thios chapter done already, but here it is. Next Chapter will probably be tuesday/wednesday, or next weekend.**

**Xx Charlotte**

My hand tightens its grip around the handle when my body is thrown from left to right. I don't say anything while we drive along the bumpy road, sitting in between Damian and his father. I didn't want people to ask questions, so I had decided to sit next to Damian, where I usually sit. Normally our enthusiastic talking and laughing follows us wherever we go, but it's dead silent now. Just when I get the feeling Damian is starting to talk, his father interrupts him.

"So," He says, like he's socially awkward and there's a classroom full of people listening to him. "Are you guys exited?" I nod and look at Damian. "Yeah." He says giving his father a kind smile. "Yeah, kind of." I say, looking straight forward. I wonder how Damian can be so relaxed, he's going to leave his family and yet he's so calm. I'm not even calm, and I'm the one without the family. I shouldn't be worried about my family judging me, they're already gone. My parents died years ago, and my brother left me to go to Candor.

But there is Damians family, they were always there for me, they were like my family. I always saw them as a 'second pair of parents'. His mother saw me as the daughter she never had, I wonder how they will react if we both leave. Would they be upset? Probably.

"Here we are." I look up, give Mr. James a smile and follow Damian out of the car. Damian waits for a moment, but I immediately start walking, not that it will speed up the day, but it's one thing that I won't see Damian anymore. I know myself, if I see him for a little longer I will say sorry, and it will make the goodbye even harder. I don't want to, but I turn around to look him in the eye once more. His eyes searching for a 'sorry' in mine, but I won't give it to him. With that I turn around, ignoring the pain I get from hurting him, and walk away.

**X PAGE BREAK X**

"Lisa Clark." I follow every move everyone makes. Most of them walk up there with confidence, like this girl. Typical Amity. Her ponytail moves as she walks up to the man. Happiness written all over her face. Probably ate too much Amity bread. Even though I'm so nervous I can't help smirking a little. I get a look from Damian, questioning what's so funny but I concentrate on the girl. He won't get my attention. I watch the blood drop on the earth, colliding with the parts of dirt, disappearing as fast as it came. My hands are clamped together to avoid them shaking, with every name called we get closer and closer to me. I start to bite my lip, pull my sleeves down, shift my weight from one foot to the other. I'm almost freaking out.

"Ashley Jace." I swallow and stay put, I can't make my body move, I'm too scared.

"Ashley Jace." I hear my name again, mentally slap myself for acting so weird and slowly start moving. My eyes focused on the knife, and I can see my hand shaking as I reach out to take it from him. I put it against the palm of my hand, press and slide it over. Without thinking I move my hand to the sizzling coals, the sound rises a little bit when my blood drips and I look around. Mrs James just nods at me with a little smile, Mr James sits next to her, looking straight forward, waiting 'till his son wills choose. I feel sorry for him, knowing that he won't stay.

The Dauntless cheer and I quietly walk over to them. Wiping my palm against my shorts. It leaves a darker red stain on the bright color. I'm still not sure if this was the right thing to do, I could've lived in Amity with some effort, and I know Dauntless will be much harder. But maybe I'm more willing to take the risk to live this life, than I am to live In peace with some hippies.

I snap myself out of these thoughts when I hear Damians name. I watch him as he takes the knife, everything he did was so calm, so easy, as if he wasn't going to be a 'traitor'. And then my jaw drops a little bit, the sizzling coals deliver chills going trough my body and I have to pull my eyes away from him. He chose Dauntless.

"Watch out, you don't want to catch flies." I hear someone say, a girl. It could be considered as negative, but she doesn't mean it that way. I straighten my back, turn towards the girl and give her a little smile. "I'm Jessy." She says, with a smile from ear to ear. I quickly scan her, she has a pale skin, but it suits her with her ginger hair and freckles. Her eyes have a greenish color and she has long eyelashes covered with a layer of mascara. She wears a white blouse and black pants, showing that she's from candor.

"I'm Ashley." I say, fighting the urge to look at Damian.

"Wow, he's hot." Jessy says. I glare at Damian for a couple of seconds, but he doesn't notice it, luckily. "Hmm.' I say, not wanting to say anything more about him. This might be harder than I expected it to be.


End file.
